Today

Today I feel like I'm failing at everything. Today my heart hurts a lot. Today I feel like I'm 6 inches away from letting everyone down. That scares me a lot. That's a lie I refuse to give into.

I believe it's part of the process of our sanctification to daily, hourly, (sometimes even minute-ly) reject that which is false and cling to that which is true. There is this tension inside the mind of every believer that we constantly have to stay on top of or else we'll lose our footing.

I am a very strong individual. My mind is so strong, 90% of the time I don't struggle to cling to the truth and I don't struggle to reject what's false. But when I do, it's rough, it's real, it's hard, it's draining. Today is one of those days.

Days like today I wish God would take human form once again and just sit down and have coffee with me for a few minutes. I wish I could audibly hear some verbal affirmation. I wish I could have a physical pat on the back. I wish I could just talk and know that I'm being heard. I wish I could look into His eyes as He speaks and be given full confidence that I am not crazy. I am hearing what I'm hearing. This is real.

Faith is not easy. Neither is trusting. Both are part of the battle.

We're in a battle. Daily. It's not meant to be easy.

I'm encouraged by the fact that even on days where there is so much struggle, I am still not alone. I'm encouraged that even when I am so tired, I have a continual source of unwavering strength to tap into. I'm encouraged that my ability to not fail was never in my hands to begin with.

Bad days happen. Struggle happens. Real life, real hurt, happens.

We can't give up. We can't slow down. And we can't give in to the lies that get thrown at us.

Cling to truth. Unchanging truth. Keep fighting.